Saturday, February 25, 2006

Sigh
Ah. I think I'm becoming old me again. Atleast I'm regaining some of my old sanity.

Ah well. Today was a rather emotional day, esp for the most unemotional things.
I woke up after 8 hours.. a lack of sleep haiz. My dad woke up late for the meeting that he himself planned. His morning groans was what woke me up and... unfortunatly i never went back to sleep. Anyways you'd think that I'd get all angry and grumpy and emotional but funny enough I felt no emotion. at all.

Woke up... and played com for the first time in the week... ah. Played Warlords Battlecry III, for about 1 and a half hours. Then I found "The Last Samurai" dvd, so i watched it, and got really emotional at some of the parts... like started tearing. Then I played this sad song and started tearing more. And in the normal world I would be stuck in a mental unit to stabalize my condition. Somehow i'm in the real world and this is not happening, strange eh. Just like me to start crying over shows but feel no emotions otherwise.

So my mum came back with lunch... and i ate normally, emotionlessly. Was kinda emotionless for the rest of the day. Then after lunch i tried packing my room... and it took 47 minutes to clear my desk, 29 minutes to rearrange papers and 1 hr and 19 minutes to pack my boxes. Profitable day eh, which led me to do some homework... for awhile. Havent touched Mrs.Ng's hw yet apparently, or Jengoh's or anyone elses... oh look, my no.3 uniform is still here, unwashed. sigh more things to do...

Oh yea. During da afternoon i chatted to JR, wanted to tell him smth... then i forgot what i wanted to so he asked me to watch channelnewsasia. Apparently they were burning that Rajar guy's dead corpse... how sad. He should have been buried. Anyways i am not not not a patriotic person and so i don't really care. Wadever.

After that we(family) decided not to go to Granma's house... so we went out to eat some unhealthy beehoon crab. Certainly was crummylicious... though there weren't any crumbs but you get what i mean, and if you don't, you don't deserve to read my words. Sad.

And even after all the Junk food this week...

I'm losing weight. Like 0.2 kg a week...

Sigh. Shoo and leave me alone.

- --| Kyros |-- wasn't missed at 10:55 PM

Friday, February 03, 2006

A post to keep my blog from decomposing
Haiz its been a long time Ainnit.

Just to stop my blog from completely rotting, I'll throw in this post.
So,

Firstly,

I miss myself! I miss my old ways, my gothily beautifuly dark thoughts! I miss loving to listen to Korn or HIM. I miss my mind!
I want myself back. It seems interaction with humans have turned me.... disgustingly chipper! I can't stand myself even though I do. I'm such a crazy person.

So after that speech I can safely relay todays things I did. And no strange looks from people. I MISS MY OLD SELF.

Ok so I woke up. Sleepy as usual. Slept on the bus to sch, reached and slept in class. Sneaked my phone in frm to class. Sms during chinese when yuan feng was teaching Zuo Ye. Oh and Denis Koh walked past my class today and looked in. Then Mr.Lau pretended not to notice him and went like hey you whats your problem! And Denis Koh was like o.O. Then he walked away.

Recess, just walked arnd wif Darly. So called my "Twin". Aparrently to Gary, brandon, Reyner, and JenjoyGoh we look alike. Haiz. I look sooo ugly wif specs.

Speaking of JenJoyGoh, she was in a realllllly stinky mood today. Came in and scolded us. Dumped 2 weeks worth of homework on us for the weekend. Quote "If you people are kindergarden kids then I shall treat you as Kindergarden Kids. If you all cannot cope up with Rafflesians than I shan't treat you as one." Haiz. And shockingly I still have to see her again later. Shes the NCC CO.

Sho after Chem(which deemed MORE homework) I went for NCC! woot. my 5th time in 2 years. And I actually got a 2SG rank! They're too nice. I din bring my Uniform cos my rank and all wasn't sewed and my boots are too small AND I din feel like. So there, I din.

Started off by teaching or "teaching" the new Part As some foot drills. Ok, ONE foot drill, Sedi-A, which was cut short by Nick Lu who was too eager to start his silly lecture. Well not so silly. I got to stay in an air-con room and watch Band of Brothers. Was a tad boring but I wuddent exchange it for more drills. I would MELT.

And suddenly I realize I miss drinking blood too!!!! Haiz. I totally want my old self back. Faerie Goth is not really nice.

Ok after THAT, instead of conducting PT like the rest, I spent the rest of my time spraying rifles! Turnt my hands and pants black and all, but like just now I wouldn't trade it for PT at ALL. So there. Hmph. After awhile Jerad left, and me and Jeremy Ow continues spraying rifles. Then JR and Ivan came and started shouting commands. Thats when JR helped me realize I actually CAN shout commands. Coolness. Ivan was Preping for some competition thingy. Then Jeremy and me dragged all the fricken heavy rifles back into the Logroom, and there. All done. Skipped the ending parade and went home.

So, I actually re-capped my day. Would you prefer this me, or old me? Personally I prefer old me. Ah well. I'm trying to call him back. Maybe I've a split personality. Well then so be it. Coolness.

PLEASE COME BACK, OLD ME!!!!!

- --| Kyros |-- wasn't missed at 9:27 PM

darkness.for.words

clipped.wings

Felix Kyros Ang Mao Ler
Banished for 17 years now
Left the Shimmering Lights Behind
Dark Angel
Twelth, of Twelth
Suffering the curse of humanity
Lust for blood

deep.desires
1. Human Rejection
2. Time
3. Freedom
4. To Leave this Cursed Land
5. My Soul
6. My Sanity (I Got This Back)
7. Of Wisdom and Lightworks

heart.felt
Lacuna Coil
Within Temptation
Evanescence
Nightwish
Elfen Lied
Epica
Death
Sorrow
Darkness
The Moon
Blood

heart.cursed
Humanity
Sunlight
Helplessness
Imcomprehension
Cruelty
Violence
Inequality

last.words
i still love you. i always have. i was banished from the light, to get caught in the middle. punished with insanity. death out of my grasp.
you never existed to care for me. you existed for me to care. and when i cried, nobody came. nobody alive. humanity is dead.
new humanity was recreated. and you punished me by making me part of it. i still cry. still nobody comes. nobody comes. nobody ever came.
and still i scream, torn apart in the battle in my own mind. the battle of two, the battle of three. nobody comes to help me, for i wish no human help.
what could humanity do but rip me further? locked in rotting flesh. destined to be punished. because of you. you who lies. you who never lived, and you who will never die.

over. ended.
all silent as the ticks of the halted hands.
i turn. i see.
the dances of grey havens, over the earth so cold
and sit, in the cries of a motherless child.

memories.of.heaven
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