Belief
My Most Precious Dear -
I know not any longer what trickery this be.
It is such, that by the will of the playful ones, I was shown such beauty in the death of my hope, in the candlelights of the glimmering forest
and that I was ripped from it, in its embodiment oh how delicate.
And as the beast within me bounded forth at its cage, as it drove me to tear myself away I was shown grace, and the cages themselves became nothing.
And Beauty was for me, and I weeped in joyous being.
And so I spoke within, that such shall I give myself to, such shall I trust.
And the laughter of the playful ones resounded forth in the being-world. And beauty willed itself a cage.
As as I feared this beauty, this beauty fears now me.
As I was once foolish, so does beauty, in its wisdom, bar itself from me.
And the laughing ones unveil the pain that, as I once slipped upon others, is now destined upon me.
My darling, what am I to feel?
I am lost, I am weakened, and I long for only you.
Oh providence, thou art the damned and the pitiful. And I am at your mercy.
Save me.
Across Worlds
It is that which has plagued me sincelessly-
By the breaths which have come forth from my self, and then by, it is rest which refuses me while the night reigns without, as it does within.
And for it I have given up all sense, all rationale, all rhyme and all familiarity. I cannot understand it, as it understands me, and before it I am left helpless, shameless, empty.
As light sears that which is me and is without me, intoxicating my being, unpeaceing me within, so the fatigue comes, and it overwhelms, and, as I was before so now, for it once more, I am helpless.
Yet as the light fades and I am in comfort, and my thoughts bent on the rest sorely and desperately needed, as even then I will my eyes away and all sight turns its back on me, that which empowers my degenerated heart is let loose as if a tide defiant, unwilling to turn at my will, and I am in awe, I am alive, and I hate myself for it.
For as the night falls, my self is given being, and my thoughts race across worlds.
Cradle
This day there was such as spoken to me, and it bore with it words most harsh.
And it called to me as if-
a pearl of the horizon, shine-worth and
unbearable. and as its tears grew louder its sparkle returned and I saw
and its cries were of such starkness, such emptiness
and i wept
bitter thoughts was it that i wept
which rose once more to a bandaged heart
and for that i cried
and the damning and the lonely were lost of my thoughts
and now of that very heart i am awoken
of the rest of a thousand sounds
by the rest of a thousand sounds
i awake once more
to cry, to love
and to die
No more do I fear such.
I fear
I fear I fail my A levels.
My Death
And it is in being I am plagued with my death
As the bitter prejudices of breathing souls
And in this true being all life is left
but a dreadness and oh, but it.
yet by strife of strifes, i am alive
simmering in desp-ools of naught and nil
when all around me seems oh but wretched
and ill
and it is this madness that burns in me still
where i am not fit to be is it that fuels me
and by this unbeing he, i am alive
when i'd rather not be
I fear
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