Enough
Stop...
Stop.
Stop.
STOP.
You know what I am sick of?
I tire in watching others play and relax while I still work.
- Its called a holiday is it not? Then why is it not a holiday for me? I still have to work 3/7 of the time, go for tuitions (DURING THE HOLIDAYS) 4/7 days a week. Do school projects. Homework. Research. Group Work with humans. How about a HOLIDAY?!? HUH!?!?? And Ms.Tan and Koh still looved going around and saying "Ah yes. Take this holiday opportunity well. Don't play. Study. Study. STUDY. " AT LEAST LET ME BREATHE.
I cry in pain at my lack of time.
- All my life is about rushing here to tuitions, then rushing off to school. Rushing off to centers. Rushing back to school, Rushing back to tuition. Rushing off to buy nececities. Rushing back home. Rushing...
Even in the real world. The HATED real world. I would have a day. A day to let go. A day to release. A day to breathe. A day to see, read, play. All I ask for is a day for me, a day for myself, a day not moulded and mutated by studies. A day off dutys. ONE SINGLE FRICKEN DAY. That is all I ask.
I writh in agony at my lack of freedom.
- Take these examples and eat them. My hopes go to the thought of them destroying you. Like "National Service" for example. Firstly, It will cost us a good 2 years. Not you all, us. The people. Not the government, the people. You want us to excel in the economic world? Sure. Decay two full years away from us and observe the VAST AND WONDERFUL improvements to our peoples. Two years doing nothing will surely boost our economy. Secondly, it makes us secondary to our peers in other countries. They could study, get a degree, get a job, improve THEIR economy. By the time we are released they will be twenty-seven steps ahead of us. Thats also surely going to help our fine country financially. Thirdly, constantly following orders, not needing to think for oneselves WILL SLOW AND DESTROY THE MIND. After all, leave an apple on the table, not eaten, and it will rot and decompose. Similarly, leave a brain, not used, and it will rot and decompose as well. It helps that the brain is our most important organ. Without the brain, the heart will not pump, will it? Fourthly, hasn't ANYONE AT ALL considered the fact that SOME HUMANS DO NOT WISH TO KILL. OR BE TRAINED IN KILLING. OR BE TORTURED. When it could be fully well avoided. Other country people are not slaved into the military, and yet they do not die, or be any less a leader than anyone else. Look at Bill Gates. Worlds richest man. Military? NO. It was PRECISELY because he did not go into the military that he is thus so sucessful. Imagine a frail little teen, conscripted into the army. He would be bullied, punishments and torture would be reigned onto his weak body. His self-esteem would be destroyed. His mental stability tipped off balance. And thus there would be no more world's richest man with 200 billion dollars. Consider those who hate killing or violence. Like me. I would be shattered in the military. And I dread the coming years.
Lastly, i would summarise the trechary of the government in a few sentences. Democracy, yes?
Democracy:
The principles of social equality and respect for the individual within a community.
-The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
So, if I ask not to go into the army, a respect for me in here, for the individual. The individual who is different from everyone else. This individual who does not wish to enter the army. This individual whom will not benefit. If i ask not to enter the military, what would happen?
I would be thrown into prison, where the firery lights of hope and potentiel for a coming future would be snuffed out in one quick stroke. But if i do enter the military? I would become a living zombie, unable to think for myself, my own self-esteem and self-confidence shattered into oblivion. And that would be the type of person who will be the future of "the country" and enter into the workforce. No wonder we go sooooo faaar. No wonder we are sooooo sucessful.
And now I wish no longer to stay. I wish it all to end.
Leave me be.
Enough.
I decided to blog again. What an undesired statement.
Yes. I'm back. I just thought that by blogging, I can speak to this person... I don't know who. Somebody. Yes I'll have somebody to talk to. For i have nobody to talk to.
So. This morning. Woke up at 5:20 as usual. and forgot to turn on the heater. and had to bathe in freezing cold water, which couldn't help me to wake up more. Theres no sun yet see. When the sun comes up i'll get so tired i'll probably fall asleep when walking. So ran out to bus stop, caught the 6:10 bus as usual and just read chem notes while going to school.
Sho I reached school and got ready for darned geog exam. Why cant we drop the stupid subject. Its not Geography. Its propagnda. Widespread propaganda. And they call this education. Don't you get this feeling of being used by the government for their advantage? Where is the knowledge attached to real geography that we are supposed to learn????
So i took it and it just totally sucked. I didn't really give a damn about it though.
Did some last minute revision for chem and took da test as well.
Din fare too well, but neither did the rest of the school. There was even a call for "those people who did not finish section C, please hand up a blank piece of paper with your name on it." At least i finished my whole section C, but its probrably not enough for my mum though, so i shall not tell her.
And then i had to talk to humans again, like daryl and brandon, which means hiding my real thoughts and emotions behind a fake mask with a big big smile on it. Like a clown. Just not funny.
So now go away. Stop tormenting me and leave.
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