Surrounded by a hurricane of choices.....
Its Me. Or Us.
I seem to find myself very wierd. Sometimes I'll be really gothy, then I'll be really helpful, then really quiet... and I keep thinking.
Who I am and who I pretend to be are very different.
I'm really really really stressed out. So much so that I actually am not feeling very well any more.
The amount of homework load that is burdened on my mind is so much so that I think I might lose my sanity. I'm sorry if I have offended you before. I'm not sure who I am now.
After working for a whole day since 1pm, I'm really really freaked out now. You know, my mind feels very heavy and loaded and slow in thinking. So far from 1pm to 9:10pm now, I've managed to:
Complete All but the summary of the english comprehension "November 1981", scrape through the Fatimah summay, finish 1/2 of the surds A math homework, and.... thats all. Abide some Chinese tuition, 3 hrs of travelling and dinner time.
Guess what I still have?
Two Chemistry Excercises, Re-doing the stupid elephant rescues her calf comprehension, completeing the November 1981 summary and math homework, revise for tommorow's English and Biology tests, and somehow revise two chapters of chinese.... by tonight.
I'm still due for 1 detention after skool, one SPECIAL detention, I'm gonna be culled for my hair, and it doesn't help that I'm not feeling very well.
I hate my life. Tell me ten thousand facts that I'm not stressed and I'll kill myself. Why doesn't anyone see? Why won't anyone help me? Thats why I despise humans.... expecially those malicious evil ones who go one criticising....... like my dad.
I know to others I seem really free, really happy-go-lucky. Tell you what, its all an act.
And its the F***ing EXAM PERIOD and i still need to go for detention. I'm sick and nobody cares. I'm stressed and my parents think it an act. They don't believe me, they never did. Nobody Cares.
It's 9:30 pm now... and I've got to finish my work before 12pm.
Lord help me.
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